Tuesday, March 8, 2016

The Bachelor - Women Tell All Thoughts

This shit needs to be 30 minutes.

one dude.


Thoughts:

• You know how the Bachelor franchise is trying to be more diverse these days? Apparently that includes old people because the viewing parties Chris Harrison and Ben crashed were filled with old people. By old, I mean, people my age with babies and shit. 

• Seriously who the fuck is Izzy?

• Jubes is still there and according to the title on the screen, she is still working in the War Veteran Business. Emily and Haley are still in the twin business and Jennifer still owns a dry cleaning business (I’m sticking to that).

• Amber is a snatch. That is all. Also, I don’t have any data to back this up. She just rubs me the wrong way.

• An hour into this show and I’m TIRED of talking about Jubes. Yes, she’s black and complex and her family was all killed in ‘Nam. It’s sad and she was a minor story line but enough now. Mama tired of Jubes.

• The bitches are being SUPER petty and complain-y and asshole-ish and Ben is seen backstage saying, “Thank fucking GOD I didn’t marry any of them, whoa.”

• Lace isn’t crazy after all. She just has zilch-o self esteem. But she’s been having lots of talks with her mom (?). Not sure how that played into all this but whatevs.

• I like it when Harrison asks her if she learned anything by being on the show and she says she learned not to interrupt or use certain facial expressions. Harrison responds with, “Yeah, I was more referring to your general fucking craziness?”

• Olivia: I’ll say it. I like her jumpsuit. I do not like her massive over application of makeup.

• She does an OK job of fixing her bad reputation and sounding apologetic and chill, but ruins it by saying, “I’m a confident woman.” You are not. You are Lace.

• Caila’s pantsuit is also oddly appealing. They clipped her bangs behind her ear so she’d stop playing with it all the goddamn time and it was a good decision.

• Ben comes out an hour and a half into the show. We spend three uneventful minutes talking to him (Jubes complains, Leah yells at him for some reason, etc)

• Bloopers summary: Relatively amusing, JoJo is dirty and funny, and watching chicks run from insects never gets old.

• Sneak Peak looks good, people. He admits to JoJo that he loves Lauren too. This is gonna be GOOD, if I can only avoid spoilers for six more days.

Sorry this is stupid, but so was this episode, so I was uninspired. Let’s chat next week, peeps! Weeee!

7 comments:

  1. There was more drama in the previews than in the actual show. This is not good people! Jen will be more inspired next week and rip people some new ones. And I love it when chicks call people non-PC names!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leah is the worst... she blamed ben for her own self being an asshole. Bitches be trippin.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Olivia's not the only one who likes books. So do the twins. They're currently working on Sweet Valley High.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good one - found mine in the basement the other day. Might call for a re-read before I pass them on to my daughter. That will be my official excuse anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've decided that the twins have set a precedent that "twins" can now be officially referred to as an acceptable term for employment therefore should I ever be on "reality" tv I have decided that my "employment" will be "ate twin in the womb".
    Lauren for the win!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Bitch Women Tell All is my least favorite of the season. Most just want to get their puss on the TV one last time, so they interrupt and say, well, bitch things. The upcoming finale -- can't wait to repeat the clip of Ben on the bathroom floor telling JoJo he loves Lauren too. What woman wants to hear that -- yet in case she threw up, the toilet is right there. Very cleaver and good planning Producers!

    ReplyDelete