Wednesday, July 27, 2016

The Bachelorette - Men Tell All Thoughts

I hated that episode. It doesn’t need be to two hours long and way to give Chad more fucking screen time. I have thoughts, but honestly, that shit was painful to watch so I totally zoned out most of it. Here are like…five thoughts.

 No seriously, who is this?

• I could NOT be more excited for Bachelor in Paradise. How does Wells hook up with Ashley Kardashian chick? There goes my hope for Wells being fun and normal.

• MULTIPLE marriage proposals? I mean, come on! That is awesome! BIP! BIP! BIP!

• Jubilee = still wet blanket

• Chad... ok Chad gets a paragraph and then I’m done with him:

Chad is a crazy asshole. He thinks he’s cool and funny and he loves to think he’s a shit-stirrer. Since he went on the Bachelorette and became this famous villain guy, he’s upped the villain shit to cash in on his 15 minutes of fame. His Instagram feed is apparently a bunch of over-the-top douche bag stuff, and I don’t get why he’s so fascinating. They spent WAY to much time on him and his feuds and nothing was ever really determined about why he hated everyone and why they hated him. I mean, just cause he’s an asshole, sure, but we spent an hour on him and I don’t get it. OK Back to bullets. Oh wait! One more thing. My favorite part of the show was probably when Nick gets up and pretends he wants to fight Chad – they pan to the security guard who looks like he’s about to shit his pants. I could almost hear him talking to himself in his brain: “Oh shiiiiiit, please don’t actually go after him and make me step in. I’m like, 150 bills. I’d die. Please sit down please sit down please sit down.”

 • Alex still an angry wee thing.

• Turns out…Evan did push Chad. Ohmygod I hate this show. And I still do a little gag when I picture Evan having an orgasm on top of me. OMG why did I just say that?

• Luke in the hot seat. He’s ready to love again.

• Chase in the hot seat. He’s ready to love again.

• JoJo comes out and she’s still stupid hot. I’m not a lesbian but if I were going to be, I’d find her.

• I zoned out the rest and then my DVR cut out. I’m not about to waste my time to find it online, so there is your stellar reporting, people.

Let’s just write this one off and dive into Bachelor in Paradise. Starts next week! OK I’m getting ahead of myself. Finale on Monday peeps – see you then!

6 comments:

  1. Thanks for your comments Jen. You're right, this episode doesn't deserve more than five thoughts. But I truly enjoyed your comment on Jonathan's screen shot. And yes, I am over the top ready for an awesome BIP too. And happy to share that with you.
    Susan in CA

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  2. Chad is either a pathological narcissist or a genius actor. But I'm going with the first choice. And man oh man, has the Bachelor franchise put all of their eggs in the Chad basket this year.

    Luke will probably be the next Bachelor, although I think Chase has way broader appeal. (He certainly appeals to THIS broad. Still not over the way he looked on that yoga date, tattoo and all. Holy hell.)

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  3. Luke has to be the Bachelor. The producers set him up to be a real live Nicholas Sparks character. Luke isn't even my type (too lean) and yet I want to date him now.

    I'm way too excited for BIP. I actually like that show better than the Bachelor/bachelorette. Yay!!!!!!!!!

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  4. OK Jen you missed the best Smitty line ever in the Bloopers!

    He asked JoJo if she ever dreamed she would be motorboated by a horse on national TV!

    Smitty rules!!!

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  5. Laughed at your comment about the security guard Jen. Poor guy was probably just an actor for the show and was thinking "I didn't sign up for this!". We need many more bloopers throughout the show -- how hilarious would that be! I have to say, there were soooooo many really hunky guys on the show than ever before! If JoJo picks either Jordan or Robbie, they will break up in less than 3 months. I hope she gets the telephone numbers for those guys when that happens!

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  6. And ugh, not to dwell on Chad, but he called Grant Darrell, and did you catch him calling JoJo Joelle? Whaa? And Oy Vinny's mom. I couldn't date him just for her there interfering all the time. Let him go!

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