Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Bachelor in Paradise 8/15 Thoughts

Here are this week’s thoughts on Evan’s grossness, Josh’s grossness and Amanda’s annoyingness:

• Evan interrupting Josh and Amanda’s makeout session? I mean…come on. “Umm excuse me? Josh? If you wouldn’t mind removing your penis from Amanda’s vagine for just a second, I want to feed her lobster and tell her I might love her.

• Josh groans when he kisses and he groans when he eats pizza (in a nauseating fashion, I might add). He then groans as he eats pizza while simultaneously tonguing Amanda. So fucking gross. Also, what’s wrong with her?

This seems like some kind of disorder worth investigating 


 • Evan pulls Amanda aside again before the rose ceremony (WHY is nobody stopping him), and tells her about Andi’s book and how Josh is an abusive dickface. Within ten seconds, Josh finds out about this shit-talking and wants to talk to Evan. He throws in a lot of Jesus talk and tries to keep his cool (to avoid further abuse allegations) and generally does a horrible job of coming across as a normal, nice person.

• Sarah kisses Christian and Daniel. She tells Christian that their date was the best date she’s ever had. She tells us Daniel’s kiss wasn’t great. Then she gives the rose to Daniel. Chick is confused.

• Rose ceremony: Lace gives her rose to Grant, Izzy to Vinny, Emily to Jared, Amanda to Josh, Sarah to Daniel and Carly to Evan. Wait, what? And then Haley to Nick.

• Brandon and Christian head home. Have we figured out who Brandon is yet?

• Everyone is super excited about the arrival of Caila’s hair to paradise.

• Speaking of abuse claims…Josh is to Andi, as Caila is to horses:



• Why is everyone napping together like a pile of kittens?

• Lace and Grant, along with Izzy and Vinny go on a double date to Senor Frogs. Gee thanks, Bachelor people.

• Jared likes Caila so he tells Emily that he wants to explore things with her (aka her vagine). Emily takes it like a champ…until she’s alone in front of the Bachelor cam.

• Evan gets a little drunk with Carly, Daniel and Sarah. Later, he passes out alone in his room and for some inexplicable reason, the producers call a medic when all the poor bastard wants to do is sleep. PS – Evan looks like Shakespeare with that fucking facial hair.

• The producers have no reason to call Carly, but they do anyway in hopes of some added drama. She decides to make out with him. All I can say is that she’s confused too and THIS fucking outfit should be illegal:



• Amanda and Josh have sex on camera, complete with squeals, moans and a few “likes” thrown in by Amanda. Just kidding. Also, I can’t imagine the sweaty mess under those sheets.

Well, that’s it. Until tonight. With Ashley I.

4 comments:

  1. Hahahaha I can't stop laughing

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  2. Your blog is always great but this one really had me laughing! And I KNEW you would have something to say about Evans horrible outfit. I don't know how Carly could make out with ANYONE wearing such a mess! ��

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  3. Your blog always makes my day but today's really has me laughing!! And as I watched it last nite and I saw Evans outfit, I KNEW you would comment about it. Not sure how anyone could make out with a man wearing such a mess! 😂
    And I find Josh sooo gross. Not even a little bit good looking. His moaning is disgusting. And I agree that he may need to see a doctor about his sweating problem! Gross!

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  4. OMG the moaning needs to stop....I can't even imagine what it would be like during sex if he is like that kissing, yuck!

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