Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Bachelor in Paradise 8/9 Thoughts

One hour of this show is much more manageable, no? Here are some quick thoughts:

• Amanda and Josh making out at 8am? Cut that shit out, it’s breakfast time for fucks’ sake.

• Amanda literally had zero lines this episode yet she had more airtime than anyone. I have a feeling that they actually only made out once but the producers kept playing it over and over to make it seem more slobbery.

• Christian comes in (happy black dude from JoJo’s season). His date card says, “Who are you falling for?” Umm nobody because I literally JUST walked in. This show is so stupid.

• Christian asks Sarah out and they spend the day cheating death with a Mexican zip line. Let’s make good decisions, people, shall we?

• Daniel says he could help Evan by shaving that crap off his face and basically making him less Evan-ish. I seriously couldn’t have said it better myself.

• Hold the phone, does that say Evan is 33? No way. Try 53.

• Brandon from Desiree’s season? Who? He asks a twin out on a date, and the twins decide to switch spots halfway through the date. He has no clue, and they’re not pleased. But I kind of don’t blame him – they’re identical and don’t really have too many layers. They’re no Leah. (?)

• Sarah tells Daniel that her date with Christian was nice but she kept thinking how much more fun it would be if Daniel was with her. I mean…she DOES know he’ll watch this one day, right?

• Three couples making out in a row is friggin disgusting. What if one of them decides to give a hand job or something? This is awful. Also, I’m so old.

• Evan gets his paws on a fully cooked and prepared lobster and decides to whisk Amanda away to his romantic lobster den. He plans on interrupting Amanda and Josh’s makeout sesh and I want to fucking punch him in the face. I mean DUDE, I’m all for putting yourself out there and taking risks, but pick your moment.

OK That’s all for this week…see you Monday!


  1. I can't believe I'm admitting to watching the after show, but the olympic soccer is like watching paint dry. On the after show they sort of admit openly that the characters/contestants are contacting each other and its not a big deal this year (remember the Sam/Joe scandal?). Both Lace and Leah said they had communications with Chad prior to the show and Amanda also admitted in her blog that she met and was in contact with Nick, that she liked him but he was only interested as a friend. She was defending her jumping on getting the date with Josh and subsequently jumping his bones (not her words) and not talking to Nick about it.

  2. Evan, know when to give up. Don't go for Amanda who is actively making out with a better looking guy than you. Go for one of the girls in jeopardy. She will say yes. This is not rocket science.

  3. I have to admit, I really like Daniel. He's pretty funny and I think the dimwit act is just that - an act, not that he's a rocket scientist or anything. And he does have an amazing body - wow!

    1. Totally agree. I actually think Daniel is the most under-rated person to be on the show in a while. Funny, handsome, and now we see, kind of sweet.

  4. Best line ever: they're no Leah!!!